TTP (Or "I Loved Brussels So Much I Might Give Brussel Sprouts Another Chance")

Prologue:

There is a war coming.

Arash Majdi and several of his compatriots have had the audacity to attempt to uproot and destroy my blog, so this post will not be like normal. I need all able friends to click "Follow" on the right and proceed with instructions. Then, refresh the blog page by how many years you've known me x 5 i.e. if we met 4 years ago, then refresh 4 x 5 = 20 = a minute of your time. Please? Pretty please? I'll even give you a cherry. I recommend everybody do a quick skim (skim and not read because that's all you need) of his blog so that they will understand the new layout/format of this blogpost, as it is meant more or less as a parody. I have come under harsh criticism for the regularity (or lack thereof) of my updates and I want to silence the negative Nancys. (Nancies? Whatever) 

Arash, suck it. 

(but really I love you)
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Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7P5jWu9JLo

What this blog post will be like:

Everybody says my blog is dead and it makes me sad. My blog is not dead but it is struggling and it could really use the support of people instead of the hate. LOVE MEEEE. It's like telling a cancer patient "Why bother?" So please stand by me when the night has come and the land is dark.

WARNING: THIS WILL NOT BE A REEL BLOG POST. DO NOT JUGE ME BASED ON WHAT I RIGHT THIS TIME. I AM ONLY MAKEING A POINT.

Amsterdam:

Not all it is cracked up to be. Arash covered it in his blogpost and I don't want to repeet but it was really cold and we don't have good time. EVERYONE IS TALL AND HAS HUGE BIKES:

Just pretend Amsterdam is a ship and this is me (more like the other way around):

Then we went to Brussels.

Brussels:

By the way unfortunately we took most of the pictures with Arash's camera (phone) so now I am resorting to Google and Youtube. To be honest it's a lot easier.

Nazanin:

In Brussels I met up with my long-lost cousin (I hadn't seen her in a year) Nazanin and her boyfriend Moulay. Her name in Persian means "dear" or "cute" and she is all of these things, not to mention hipster. After Amsterdam we needed a win, and we got it. Brussels was like a super mini-Paris (I mean that as a compliment) and even more hipster (in fact, it was so hip I felt like a bro). There were street paintings everywhere and Nazanin's boyfriend knew all the artists and which ones had done what (he's a graphics designer).

My cousin did a tarot card reading which basically told me I will create something "new" in the next year, and there was a suspicious amount of hinting (i.e. the card had a picture of a man touching a woman's stomach) that it would be a child. So I'm breaking the news to everyone now. Here is me with my Asian tea learning about my future:

After hanging out at their hip loft we went into the city for the Christmas markets and had some hot wine (it was the processed version, we had to wait to get to Aachen to get the real kind (more on that later)) and then went out to dinner. 

Moulay:

He is the coolest person ever. He is a graphics designer and he designs graphics. He also paints and draws and plays the guitar and a general artist and he doesn't even wear hipster clothes (so ironic!). Arash is writing the exact same thing but you heard it here first. For all you non-hipsters, take a minute to educate yourselves:

He would have won in that contest/Olympics (or not, depending on whatever's more hipster). Honestly, he probably wouldn't even sign up. Here is his website if you want to check out his stuff:

http://www.moulayguisse.com/

I learned a lot about the kind of person that I want to one day pretend to be like.

This is me with the coolest people in the world:

Second Song:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3xwDDLuLcY


Vancouver:

That night we were at a bar (a couple bars) and at the first one we got B52's. Believe it or not it's not a kind of plane or gun or anything dangerous like that. Basically you light the top of it on fire and then drink it:

If you can't see anything, Arash filmed it.

Then we went to another bar and we were hanging out and Arash took my camera and started taking pictures of this random guy and then he came over and talked to us. He was here from Vancouver and really social. This is the picture:

Not sure what else to say except that he was social.

Oh also in Brussels earlier that day (and the next day) we had waffles. Belgian waffles.

And now we're in Aachen, but I can't write about that yet because I'm going to save it for later because everybody is hating on me. I'm going to pull a Harry Potter and just delay the release. Fair?

Now, you're probably wondering why my blog is titled TTP (actually probably not but I am going to talk about it anyway). I'm glad you asked. TTP is an abbreviation for something called the Traveling Tourist Problem. Now I know that nobody cares about this but I am going to talk about it anyway and maybe math nerds (do I even know any?) will appreciate it/correct me on the many mistakes I will make. I think I'm just going to talk about it for a little bit and then go into detail after but nobody has to read this or should. I am just writing it for fun.

Basically, as a tourist you go to a city and there are lots of things that you want to see. But what is the smartest way to see them all? This is where TTP comes in. The Traveling Tourist Problem is about how to maximize efficiency (I am an Econ major so <3 efficiency) in seeing all of the sights that you want to see in the least amount of time/money. This could mean metro, walking distance, other modes of transportation, their costs, times of day that are better for certain monuments, and many other random features.

If you take factorials then you end up with big numbers and there are like a jillion ways to move around a city, but there is always a best way. Since it's a factorial it's not linear or exponential but it's even faster so like 4! is 4*3*2*1=24. As you can see we end up with really big numbers, which means lots of choices when you're trying to decide how to tour a city. Also, peanut butter with Orea cookies aren't even that good. Basically, the best way to visit a city is to at least know someone that can show you around (something we learned after Amsterdam).

Lastly, I want everyone to comment saying which hand has skinnier fingers (left or right). We are actually taking this semi-seriously and have not been able to come to a consensus yet.

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Epilogue:

If this blog sucked, it's because it was supposed to. I was trying to write like Arash. Hopefully it still didn't suck though. Sorry. PS-I had 3 bloody noses today, new record. Anyway, next post will be good, I promise(that I'll try). Basically, we need to stop this from happening:

Arash: god

  blog getting so much ass